im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
