Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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