Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
