Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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