States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
