so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
