Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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