and you said cock pushups were impossible
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
