Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
