My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize