What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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