Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
