okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
