marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He felt like a one man threesome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
