Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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