Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
