you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize