party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
