Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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