Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
