You're so nebulous sometimes
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
