dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
