Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
