Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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