I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
