all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
