god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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