Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
