My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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