hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
