So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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