So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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