She's JV to your varsity
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
