I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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