GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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