Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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