they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
