How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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