I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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