i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
