I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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