just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We have started to decorate penises.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
