I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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