I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Semen is not good for contacts.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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