why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
honey bunches of taint.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
