I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
