You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
being pregnant is like rehab
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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