Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
