Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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  (517): They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what." http://tfl.nu/ufo0
  Replies (3) Good night (1928) Bad night (553)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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  (610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt
  Replies (6) Good night (2281) Bad night (532)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow

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  (682): aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/8wvu
  Replies (29) Good night (6288) Bad night (1114)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10536) Bad night (948)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids

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  (301): I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids http://tfl.nu/xnc7
  Replies (19) Good night (6942) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night

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  (713): woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/ddwb
  Replies (30) Good night (4708) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (33) Good night (5560) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

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  (440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (2679)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'

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  (484): during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me' http://tfl.nu/06rz
  Replies (8) Good night (6162) Bad night (793)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

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  (717): apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey http://tfl.nu/5avv
  Replies (4) Good night (1828) Bad night (972)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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  (250): I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick. http://tfl.nu/pl6y
  Replies (18) Good night (976) Bad night (1901)
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  (925): View more from California

  I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.

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  (925): I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea. http://tfl.nu/uulw
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.

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  (601): Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career. http://tfl.nu/22e3
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.

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  (303): I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well. http://tfl.nu/mq4y
  Replies (2) Good night (241) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.

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  (313): Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club. http://tfl.nu/xqxw
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (162)

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