Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize