You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..