Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously

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  (281): I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously http://tfl.nu/rnuw
  Replies (9) Good night (669) Bad night (1071)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  ...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...

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  (503): ...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home... http://tfl.nu/g51m
  Replies (7) Good night (613) Bad night (1121)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick

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  (631): i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick http://tfl.nu/rq3v
  Replies (20) Good night (1500) Bad night (1888)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.

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  (406): Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state. http://tfl.nu/u13u
  Replies (73) Good night (2188) Bad night (862)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

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  (786): All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" http://tfl.nu/jvct
  Replies (49) Good night (9469) Bad night (1311)
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  (661): View more from California

  I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it

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  (661): I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it http://tfl.nu/bivl
  Replies (15) Good night (1283) Bad night (6775)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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  (508): Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay http://tfl.nu/rfq4
  Replies (44) Good night (1389) Bad night (8570)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.

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  (+44): she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together. http://tfl.nu/1f9e
  Replies (2) Good night (3001) Bad night (1252)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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  (724): Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over. http://tfl.nu/rd2c
  Replies (5) Good night (3347) Bad night (1250)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?

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  (817): Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect? http://tfl.nu/gdtt
  Replies (11) Good night (2956) Bad night (812)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

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  (615): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/wyc5
  Replies (8) Good night (3915) Bad night (727)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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  (419): we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit http://tfl.nu/q27h
  Replies (16) Good night (3003) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cute underage boy is in my house.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.

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  (610): Cute underage boy is in my house. (410): OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE. http://tfl.nu/uq1q
  Replies (13) Good night (1734) Bad night (614)
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  (+81): View more from

  I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.

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  (+81): I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue. http://tfl.nu/z1d0
  Replies (0) Good night (295) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday

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  (704): Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday http://tfl.nu/7l8d
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (271)

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