Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.

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(954): Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with. http://tfl.nu/j18n

Replies (13) Good night (1859) Bad night (3327)
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(904): View more from Florida

You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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(904): You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus. http://tfl.nu/zy6a

Replies (37) Good night (4678) Bad night (781)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.

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(440): Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them. http://tfl.nu/0bl8

Replies (13) Good night (961) Bad night (4976)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.

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(423): i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions. http://tfl.nu/w3io

Replies (17) Good night (1147) Bad night (8080)
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(530): View more from California

I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

(1-530): View more from California

fuck. you.

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(530): I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight. (1-530): fuck. you. http://tfl.nu/1kgv

Replies (54) Good night (12139) Bad night (1784)
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(574): View more from Indiana

he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.

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(574): he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job. http://tfl.nu/t5km

Replies (26) Good night (766) Bad night (5231)
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(530): View more from California

I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

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(530): I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me. http://tfl.nu/jc9x

Replies (29) Good night (4257) Bad night (1059)
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(410): View more from Maryland

The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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(410): The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/hr46

Replies (5) Good night (3067) Bad night (726)
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(310): View more from California

Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.

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(310): Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former. http://tfl.nu/bzj0

Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (504)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.

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(828): I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w8gt

Replies (5) Good night (1646) Bad night (744)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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(832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7

Replies (1) Good night (2373) Bad night (624)
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(845): View more from New York

HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???

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(845): HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW??? http://tfl.nu/wpwb

Replies (5) Good night (538) Bad night (390)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I wake up by myself then?

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(404): Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach? (1-404): At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place. (404): Why did I wake up by myself then? http://tfl.nu/82c4

Replies (3) Good night (1354) Bad night (355)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.

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(215): tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours. http://tfl.nu/k3ze

Replies (9) Good night (1070) Bad night (281)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas

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(308): I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas http://tfl.nu/d21x

Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (137)

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