Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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  (401): Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home http://tfl.nu/zrvk
  Replies (22) Good night (844) Bad night (6561)
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  (716): View more from New York

  speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms

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  (716): speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms http://tfl.nu/8xzr
  Replies (9) Good night (4513) Bad night (617)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'

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  (561): She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS' http://tfl.nu/cd1u
  Replies (20) Good night (5967) Bad night (1670)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.

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  (804): he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america. http://tfl.nu/700m
  Replies (16) Good night (3954) Bad night (988)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.

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  (647): Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/k2zc
  Replies (13) Good night (3518) Bad night (1258)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
  Replies (33) Good night (1726) Bad night (3706)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.

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  (614): And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts. http://tfl.nu/c0eu
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (2533)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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  (608): There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position... http://tfl.nu/q8gr
  Replies (3) Good night (2146) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I am very proud of your internet skills

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  (512): You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick (305): I am very proud of your internet skills http://tfl.nu/83rs
  Replies (2) Good night (1100) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.

  (646): View more from New York

  LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES

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  (407): I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair. (646): LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES http://tfl.nu/6j0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1281) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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  (917): Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am. http://tfl.nu/94x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1692) Bad night (882)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.

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  (513): I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move. http://tfl.nu/stfw
  Replies (5) Good night (965) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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  (905): He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs http://tfl.nu/gppx
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (389)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'

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  (902): they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway' http://tfl.nu/m8pz
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage

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  (530): I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage http://tfl.nu/j6kt
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (139)

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