i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.