There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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