What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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