loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
