Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
