He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
