Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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