Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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