i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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