i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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